History
by totti10
Summary: Inspired by the summer trailer, this fic catches up with Iain a few years further down the line
1. Chapter 1

**So after watching the summer trailer my assumption was that Rita will be leaving soon and Riain will be no more :( This fic catches up with Iain a few years down the line. The title is partly inspired by the 1D track/partly because it's from Iain's POV. Not sure yet if it'll just be a one-shot. Let me know what you think! x**

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"Come on mate it'll be fun. You're not gonna get a better offer for this evening than coming into town with me and those two girls we met earlier. Total Rihannas" Iain rolled his eyes at his partner wondering whether the guy's enthusiasm for absolutely everything would ever show any sign of diminishing. Not that he wasn't grateful for it helping to pass those shifts that seemed to drag.

"Seriously, I'm fine. I'm just gonna see who's up for a drink in the Hope and Anchor and have a quiet one"

"Again? Oh well suit yourself. Never say I haven't tried to make sure you have a life mate. I'm off for a shower then a kip so I'm fresh for whatever the 'ladeez' might have planned for later" Jez gave the older man a friendly punch in the arm and grinned cheekily before making his way out of the station.

Iain sighed and picked up his mop. If Dixie could see him now. Casanova he was not. As he thought of his close friend and former colleague, he realised how long it had been since they had last met up. Resolving to check the holiday rota first thing the following morning and give her a call in the week, he smiled and shook his head as he resigned himself to the fact that any visit would lead him to having his head pecked about whether there was 'anyone special' in his life.

Only two women had ever got inside Iain Dean's head and heart. The first only because it started as something 'safe'; being on active duty as a soldier hardly counted as real life and the woman in question was married. What had begun as a bit of fun had ended with him wanting something he couldn't have, was the reason he'd arrived in Holby in the first place. With hindsight he could see that his actions were probably driven by jealousy and obsession rather than love. But remaining in Holby empty-handed after she'd gone, along with the memory of how he'd acted before she did, had served as a painful lesson.

The second couldn't have been more different - a friendship turning into something more. Something much more. More passionate and intimate than anything he'd ever experienced, he'd attempted to convince himself it was purely physical. She'd fallen hard and he'd been so terrified at the thought he might be feeling the same that he'd pushed her away when she needed him the most. In wanting to protect them both he'd damaged her and them beyond repair in the end.

He wasn't about to leave himself open to hurting himself and others like that again. He was Iain. He loved his job, his friends, still had the legs to be a half decent football player twice a week. Loved being an uncle to his sister's kids. Anybody that tried to argue that he needed more in his life wasn't going to win that one easily.

He closed up the back of the ambulance and thought about whether he fancied a run or a session at the gym before he made his way to the pub later. A noise from round the other side of the vehicle interrupted his train of thought and he rounded it expecting to see Jez back having forgotten something.

A woman with a kid had found her way onto the ambulance station forecourt. Iain smiled ruefully as he observed she was probably the type to have set his pulse racing a few years back: curvy, petite, tanned limbs. His more pertinent thought however was that civilians rarely turned up directly to his place of work without there being some kind of drama unfolding. Already beyond the end of his shift, he braced himself for how serious this could be, how long it was likely to delay him leaving.

"Erm, hi… Can I help you?"

The woman had been distracted, bending down to fish something from her bag for the boy, oversized sunglasses slipping down onto her forehead as she did. Hearing Iain's voice she pushed them back to the top of her head as she straightened up, her long blonde hair falling in waves over her shoulders and the thin straps of her sundress. Iain found himself automatically scanning the pair of them for any obvious signs of injury until he saw her face and froze.

The woman visibly inhaled and let out a shaky breath before biting her lip and locking her gaze on his.

"Hi Iain"

Iain's mouth went dry and he blinked as though needing to check his eyes weren't playing tricks on him.

"Rita." The word hung in the air between them before he spoke again.

"I… I thought you were in the States?" He ran his hand nervously through his dark hair and noticed that she too seemed uncertain what to say next. She cleared her throat.

"My sister's moved to Holby. I thought it was time to visit her… This is erm… this is Charlie" her hand ruffled the child's fair hair as she spoke.

"Your nephew?" The shake of Rita's head was barely perceptible but Iain saw it and his heart sank. He always knew she'd move on, he'd wanted her to, he'd needed to know she could find someone who could truly make her happy. He just wasn't expecting his heart to ache so much when he found out she had. "Charlie's yours?" His voice was much bolder than he felt.

Rita smiled sadly, pain flashing across her face but she shook her head once more.

"No" her voice cracking as she delivered the word. She gulped and straightened out imaginary creases in her dress. "He's ours."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: It has been soooo long since I've written fic but so many of them (like this one) just don't leave me alone and I really want to keep writing them. I WILL keep writing them! I wanted to get the next chapter up for this before tonight's show ('It Had To Be You' - June 24th) beca** **use I suspect a certain someone showing their true colours tonight will be very close to what I've had in mind for that character for months and months of having this planned in my head! I've ended up splitting it in two parts so I could get the 1st part up just now. It will be interesting to see if any of the dialogue is the same! I'll stop waffling (if any of you are actually reading this haha) beacuse I'd rather you read this next chapter and tell me what you think (please!) with a review... XxX**

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Iain felt the breath rush out of him as though he'd just been punched in the stomach. He was vaguely conscious of raising his hands to his head, fingers tearing through the hair at his temples as if trying to claw out the mess of thoughts in his head. Was this a trap? A trick? Was she trying to humiliate him again? Panic tightened in his chest as once more he felt control of a situation slipping away from him. He knew he needed to regain that control but the world might as well have tilted on its axis for how easy it was going to be to achieve that. His instincts had failed him, failed the woman in front of him, so many times already and now they were telling him…telling him precisely nothing. He tried to stay focussed on Rita but his vision tunnelled alarmingly. He reached out to steady himself on the side of the ambulance.

Rita's eyes widened in alarm and she took a instinctive step towards him. Iain raised his free hand to stop her, his face twitching with emotion as he uttered one word to reinforce the gesture. 'Don't'

He'd thought of the circumstances under which he might meet Rita again but it had never played out like this in his head. Right now he couldn't think of a single explanation that had led her to be stood before him now, claiming what she was, that meant he'd want to spend a second longer in her company.

"Iain I.. I just…" She began.

"Just what?" His voice barely above a whisper "Just somehow haven't mentioned before now this idea of me being a dad?"

"There was… Iain I... sorry… Did you get my letter?" Any conviction she'd felt previously had evaporated and her shoulders slumped as if already accepting defeat.

" _Letter_?" His voice was heavy with scornful disbelief "You think…? Actually just go Rita please. I can't do this right now." Iain managed to keep his voice steady as he pointed towards the ambulance station doors.

Rita swallowed hard, she wasn't sure what reaction she had been expecting from Iain, but this had definitely not been it. The child at her feet began to whimper, clutching at her dress with a chubby fist.

"Ok ok, here." She said, pulling a piece of paper from her bag and holding it out towards Iain "Call me if you want to talk, I understand if you don't want to but I really hope you do." Iain had made no attempt to take the number from her so she bent down slowlyand left it on the floor in front of her, scooping up the infant as she straightened up, shifting him expertly to her hip. She looked sadly at Iain before focussing attention back on her son. "Come on Charlie Bear, let's get back to Auntie Sarah's. See what we can find for tea"

She fought back the tears as she walked out of the station, but she didn't turn back.

Iain stood rooted to the spot for several minutes, waiting for his breathing and heart rate to return to a normal rhythm before deciding he needed to hit the gym. Hard. His boot left a grubby footprint on the discarded piece of paper as he walked away

Emerging from the station he blinked as though disbelieving it could still be daytime and didn't immediately notice Jez jogging back towards him.

"Hair gel!" His younger partner announced by way of explanation as he pointed towards the locker room. "Hey mate, just crossed the road without looking and nearly got mown down by a chick who looked the spit of that ex of yours, Rita! Except she was fitter with longer hair and…" Jez stopped as he noticed the look on his colleague's face.

"No way?! It was her! Maaan that's a bit out of the blue isn't it? I thought she was working with Zoe in the States now?"

"She wrote a letter apparently. As if. Who writes letters?" Iain mumbled sarcastically, not wanting to reveal any more details of his recent encounter to his friend.

"Umm... someone who's been cut off from any other form of communication?" Jez raised his eyebrows knowingly as Iain recalled the rampage he'd been on that night in the pub, furiously bashing at his phone as he deleted, blocked and unfriended. He knew his colleague had been fully aware of what he was doing. He'd left Iain to it as he went to make sure his partner has his next coupe of drinks lined up. What Jez didn't know was how many times Iain had regretted that since.

'So… I'm taking it no joyful reunion then?"

"Just leave it Jez" Iain warned.

"Fair play to her. Must have taken some bottle for her to just turn up like that, what did she want?" The younger paramedic continued undeterred.

"I said. Leave it!" Iain hissed, "I'm not in the mood" he added more quietly before stuffing his hands in his pockets and heading off in the direction of his car. The younger man shrugged and shook his head despairingly at the retreating figure.

"Looks like you may have had a bad shift Iain" another voice caused Iain to glance up as he trudged past the pub lost in his thoughts.

"You could say that Lily" he replied gruffly without stopping. The consultant cleared her throat before continuing "How about I take you up on that offer of a drink then?" She called after him "You can tell me where you think you went wrong - I'm sure I can help"

Iain stopped briefly to consider the invitation, almost managing to force a laugh at his colleague's black and white view of the world, before deciding that the pub might be a safer option than the gym after all.

"Go on then" he replied wearily "though I'm not sure I'll be much company"

Minutes later Iain was bringing drinks over to the table that Lily had occupied, frowning slightly at the secluded spot she'd chosen before reminding himself that he really wasn't feeling sociable anyway. He placed the glasses down before flopping heavily into his chair. A troubled look flashed across Lily's face, she reached across to touch his hand and Iain found himself almost flinching at the unfamiliar gesture, at the softness in Lily's features.

"So are you going to tell me what went so wrong at work then?"

"Work was fine" Iain sighed "Actually…" he paused as he considered whether to proceed. Him and Lily had developed a friendship of sorts in the time since Rita had left and he wondered whether a female perspective, or Lily's logical brain at least, could help him make some sense of his jumbled thoughts. _What was that they said about a problem shared? It had to be worth a try right?_ He inhaled heavily. "Actually Rita turned up out of the blue at the end of the shift"

Lily's face changed instantly as she sat back in her chair "Rita? The nurse? What on earth was _she_ doing in Holby?" She questioned icily.

Iain swallowed hard in an attempt to bring some moisture to his suddenly parched mouth. "Visiting her sister but she… erm" Iain's voice cracked with an emotion he couldn't name as he contemplated what he was about to say out loud. "She's got a kid, a baby really I guess... Mine she reckons." Iain closed his eyes and sank his head into his hands. He didn't see Lily shift slightly uncomfortably in her chair.

"And? What did she want?" she demanded.

"Want?" The question took Iain slightly by surprise and he shrugged "I dunno actually..."

"She just said she'd sent me a letter but… well anyway I ended up just telling her to leave"

He looked up to gauge Lily's reaction and noticed her visibly relax. She smiled at him before responding.

"I'm glad Iain. I did what I did for the best and now, you know, it really probably is time tha…"

"Hang on a minute, you're _glad_?" Iain's face was a mixture of confusion and disbelief "Glad I told her to leave? I'm on the verge of messing up again big time here - I don't know my arse from my elbow, I was hoping you could… and what do mean 'what you did for the best'?"

Lily set her jaw and fixed Iain with her stare.

"The night of my father's anniversary. When I stayed at your flat. I found that letter, Iain. I dealt with it for you."


End file.
